Are you prepared to have a badass time this Halloween? If you aren't 100% prepared this blog post is for you. This post tell you how to plan Halloween like a gentleman.
Ask any chick what they are wearing for Halloween and you'll get three different fucking answers. Why would they give you three answers? Because she's assembled multiple Halloween outfits for the multiple parties she's attending.
Halloween is a big deal for chicks, it's an opportunity for them to transcend their daily lives and become whoever and do whatever the fuck they want for the night.
As a busy gentleman don't concern yourself with having three different costumes. You're time is too valuable to be switching it up like that, just stick to one costume for this October, that way you can really own it.
Alright, let's dive into the Halloween Tips for Gentlemen:
Tip #1: Don't Be Afraid To Hit The Town Solo
Let's face it, sometimes your friends can't keep up. Halloween is on of those nights were you gotta focus on yourself or you might miss opportunities.
It's much easier for a bouncer to lift the rope for you than it is to let in two guys.
Ditch 'Bong Rip Billy' cause all he wants to do is stay at home and watch Trailer Park Boys. Ditch 'Sloppy Sussy' cause you can count on her being trashed at the end of the night. You're not a babysitter, you're a man with a plan and this plan doesn't include rolling with anyone who will hold you back.
When you roll out solo you can go anywhere YOU desire with absolutely no consideration for what other people want.
Go hit that private party you got an invite to or go hit that house party.
It's your choice when you roll out solo.
Tip #2: Book Multiple Venues
I like to book multiple venues on Halloween, this way you leave nothing to chance.
Halloween is not one of those nights were you just say, "Just gonna go with the flow." That's stupid and lazy.
Trust me, I've had shitty Halloweens before where I "just went with the flow". Those nights would be uneventful and resulted in me resorting to just smashing pumpkins out of frustration.
Tip #3: Proper Costumes for Gentlemen
Dress up as the alpha male character from a popular T.V. and you'll turn some heads for sure.
Also I prefer the costumes that aren't necessary costumes. They're outfits you can actually wear on days that aren't halloween, this way you'll never look too ridiculous
Don Draper from Mad Men is a classic look for dark haired gents. Get a clean haircut, put on a grey suit, get a custom cigarette case and boom you're Don.
*Pro tip: Find some chick with heavy lipstick and have her kiss your white collar. Now you have a kiss imprint on your collar. It's chick catnip, they'll see the kiss on your collar and flock to you.
Chick giggling says, "Oh my god, did you know you have lipstick on your collar?"
Shrug your shoulders like a boss, "Ehh, didn't notice."
Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy will give you that bad boy look that chicks find irresistible.
Get yourself a leather jacket, throw a reaper badge and a SAMCRO badge on it. Get a skid lid flat black half helmet and just carry it around the party. Chicks will be coming up asking for a ride on your bike...
Then it's up to you, if you wanna take em' for a ride on your Harley.
These 'costumes' are great because you now have a leather jacket or suit for life. No money or time wasted, thank you Halloween.
Chicks already have emotional ties to these alpha male television characters and will brag to their friends when they hook up with you, it's genius.
*Side note: We all know men in uniform are great costumes as well. Police officers or fireman are a good call, especially if you're a jacked stud.
*What not to wear. Don't wear any onesie type costume of any kind. Like a fucking full suit banana outfit or something. Don't be a walking joke, even on halloween.
Bonus Tip: Couples Costumes
For you gentlemen that have a chick, here's some advice on couples costumes that will turn heads when you two enter a room.
Couples Masquerade Outfit. Just use the google machine and search renaissance Italian masquerade costumes. Everybody loves the mysteriousness and classiness of renaissance masquerades.
Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanen. Hit the scene with roaring twenties swag and your in for a night to remember, Old Sport.
Sinful Catholic Priest and Nun. My girl and I rocked this ensemble. I was a 'high priest', I actually had a cross joint round my neck. She rocked the naughty nun outfit.
We attended a costume party at my favorite downtown Los Angeles venue, the Belasco Theater. It was a dope affair to say the least.
Tip #4: Be Bold
You got the alpha costume on, now embody that character and be bold.
It's 'Hell on Earth' tonight and in case you didn't know Halloween is the most outrageous nights of the year. This is because women aren't judged for their scandalous costumes and are running around with sinful thoughts.
"In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything about it." ~ Mean Girls
This is a quote from the #1 chick flick on earth, I guarantee that every chicks has seen this movie and agrees.
So be bold, charm the girl, make the move, and kiss the girl. I'm telling you she's rooting for you to kiss her.
If you're dressed up as Jax Teller and you see another biker chick, walk up to her and say, "Been looking for you all night Tara, the MC is having a meeting at the clubhouse, lets go."
Give the girl you meet on Halloween a memorable story and she'll be writing about you in her diary.
Tip #5: Stay Away From The Drunk Girl
In today's hyper accusatory social climate you have to be careful which girls you flirt with.
Notice red flags to save yourself time.
So stay away from the girl that's too sloppy. Stay away from the chick that hates all her ex boyfriends or tells you crazy stories about how she keyed his car.
Bonus Bonus Tip: Add Some Style To Your Wrist
This is by far the most important tip in this blog post. ;) Don't roll out without this classy skull timepiece. It comes in Gold, Silver, or Black, take your pick.
This is my gift to you my loyal reader.
Enjoy your night of 'Hell on Earth'.
🥃 Here's to always looking sharp, gentlemen.